Bridal Shower Do's and Dont's

Went to my first bridal shower and here are some things I learned....

Bridal Shower Dos/Donts
Don't:
1. Leave your phone off if you are hosting the shower because there might be some person (possibly a bridesmaid) struggling with 5 lbs of soup, spices and proseco who is lost.
2. Talk about your wedding if you are a bride at a bridal shower that is not your own. For example "Oh, that is the same pasta machine on my registry." Who the hell cares what pasta machine you have on your registry no one is at your shower, and if I was I still wouldn't care.
3. Have soup
4. Register for 3 toasters
5. Don't have kids there they cry
6. Forget to tell people to put bows on their gifts otherwise it is hard to make a fake bouquet out of tulle, cardboard and bubble wrap.

Do:
1. Have alcohol
2. Spike the punch with vodka, proseco or anything for that matter besides juice.
3. Have great friends there (minus the one that talks about her own wedding)
4. Have a DVD video of your fiancee answering silly game show questions - So cheezy yet so cute! Even brought a tear to my eye.
5. Have a wonderful, wonderful bride who is sweet, funny, and did I mention wonderful.
6. Have plenty of food, specifically wine and cheese. Wine = grapes = food.
7. Have silly, sexy, embarrassing gifts ...It's okay we are all girls. Well that is assuming your mother in law, sister in law, and grandma in law are there then it might be too embarrassing.
8. Take pictures - it is always fun to look back at them.
9. Bring a pick up truck to carry all your stuff home or just a really nice man with a car.

So personally, I would have opted for the peanut butter pie or cheesecake instead of yellow cake, and the Eddy's slow churned strawberry yogurt instead of ice cream...But I am just weird like that. I also probably would not register for towels because somehow I might end up with 20 and we are only 2 people and I do not plan on having 8 kids.

Bridal shower games are fun, and probably should be limited to 3 that is unless there is nothing to talk about. But you figure with eating, drinking, opening gifts, reading bridal advice, and playing bride bingo you are probably all friends by the 4th hour. But trivia games are fun too so if you can somehow make that a shot game maybe you can throw in a 4th game.

I had a great time and this is by no means a way of insulting any bridal shower, but I expect with my crazy friends and their love and my love for vodka there might be a carafe somewhere on that table. I also somehow guess I will be drinking a martini and opening a box of sexy thongs that are stuck inside the blender I registered for. And I am also guessing there will be tons of yummy food, none which include soup.

Shoes

I find bridal shoes all look the same, and I was thinking I would love to wear some wild color Betsy Johnson pumps under the gown that only the slight movement would allow the very chic to know what I was wearing. And I would get "Ooh, where did she get those shoes?" But instead I fell in love with these shoes that sort of reminded me of the Manolo Blahnik Sedaraby (Manolo picture above), but since I did not have $700 to buy those I figured I have to look for something close. I promised myself I would not get the typical dyed shoes but I couldn't help myself when I saw the "Giselle" from Touch ups. They look just like the Manolo but of course not even close to the price. I was very pleased with my purchase and I figure I will have them dyed to match the gold on the dress. I may not get the same reaction from the leopard print Valentinos I originally looking at, but I may get the "are those the shoes from sex and the city?"

Anti-Bride

Because I wanted to stay away from doing a traditional wedding I opted not to have certain things. Here are some of the items: No white dress, no groomsmen; DJ instead of band; no limos (reception place is walking distance from church); no professional hair or make up lady (even though one of my friends offered to do my make up); no rehearsal dinner; no bouquet throw; no garter toss; no line dancing of any kind (that includes macarena, dollar, electric slide); as a matter of fact I also banned disco because the idea of having Donna Summer's "Last Dance" at the wedding makes me want to scream;no flower centerpieces; no wedding bun. [I must ask - Why is it that every bride decides even if they have never worn their hair up in a bun to do this ridiculous hairstyle on the day of the wedding? (see exhibit A above) Doesn't the groom ask "Who is this woman and what has she done with my wife?" Probably hiding in that bun of hers. Okay let us go back. I also opted for a hand made purse from some independent artist instead of the typical wedding satin ivory purse. These are little things but things I am proud is keeping me indie. (Hi indies!). I start to sway every so often, like last night when I caught myself looking at monogram crystal cake toppers at 1 am in the morning. But then I pull myself back or the FH throws a shoe at me or something like that. I will say I am a big fan of Ann Wood cake toppers (again my tastes are too expensive for my budget) http://www.annwoodhandmade.com/. So instead of limo maybe I will leave the church in a rickshaw. I know there are brides out there that secretly want to.

Colors

Well I debated on how to match my dress and I started thinking burgundy and gold sounds very Elizabethian. Until everyone who is anybody started giving their opinion "Too dark for the summer" "Why don't you pick brighter colors?" "How about pastels?" This is when I started to realize..Everyone will have an opinion on your wedding choices and you just have to let it not bother you. So I started thinking maybe gold and yellow. Well that might be too bright. Finally I thought it all is going to come down to bridesmaid dresses (another post on that). Well I do not want my bridesmaid to wear a color that they hate or that look like typical bridesmaid dress. So no fuschia pink, no lime green. The only color I thought everyone looks good in and everyone loves and is elegant and classy is black. Now the minute I said "black" I heard "oh its a wedding not a funeral!" Well you know what? It is the death of me being single. Call it what you want. I am doing black and my girls will hopefully love me because they can wear the dress again. Right? Wrong! One girl said she wanted a sash, the same girl said it was too hot in July in NY to wear black. This same girl has been nothing but a blister on my foot since this process started so I shrugged my shoulders. After realizing you cant please everyone, I simply sent an email with a picture of the dress and said: "Get measured by Feb. 1st." Done and Done! My FH decided on having no groomsment to avoid politics, and to avoid playing favorites. SMART MAN! Okay back to color. So my colors are black and gold, and now the question is how to incorporate this? Here goes nothing: I bought gold chargers from Michaels for $2.00 for the place card table with ivory pillars. I ordered gold and black place cards from http://www.etsy.com/ , and I bought a black and gold purse from etsy as well. My shoes will be dyed to match the dress light gold, and my girls might or might not wear a sash and I bought them gold and black cameo broaches. The flower girl is wearing an ivory and gold dress. My invitations are gold and black, and my thank you cards are the same design as my place cards with gold and black borders. Okay when do I stop? Why is it I have this urge to go buy gold napkins, and I am already looking at menu cards and programs with these colors. Oops! Forgot to mention the gold and black truffles for the truffles bar. Damn! I am not kidding I even considered the new Gold Vodka with 24kt gold flakes for martinis - I need some help. Someone help me!

White Wedding Dress

Well my dress I already bought and I have no idea why it still has not arrived. I believe I ordered it in October and the woman is talking April. Am I the only one that thinks that is strange. What are they making my dress from silk imported from Thailand? No! Because I am doing a budget wedding. Even though I am on a budget, I am still way to pretentious for my budget and my tastes do not belong anywhere near that excel spreadsheet. With that said, I could not go the Davids Bridal route. Instead I fell in love with a Maggie Sottero. Luckily she is not too expensive (Less than $2K) and I am very happy with the decision. But that is not to say that I was lucky enough to visit Kleinfelds because you can not get married in NY without visiting Kleinfelds at least once. But I went during a trunk show which was good but you have to buy the dress off the rack that same day and no alterations. Wow! I can not make a decision that quickly. I mean I am impulsive but that is just too much even for me. Because I hate the idea of a traditional wedding I swore I would not wear white. I mean lets be honest, I am not "pure". Sorry mom! And I did not want to wear ivory, so if not because wearing red would give my Catholic parents a heart attack I opted for Gold. Not the Christmas Tree ornament gold but more like the champagne bubbly gold. Which makes me all warm and fuzzy inside. So now the dilemma is how do I match my wedding colors to this? On to the next topic... Wedding colors.

First Dance

Okay I am giving credit to where I found this list http://blogs1.marthastewart.com/weddings/

because I do not want a lawsuit on copyright infringement. This is what happens when you spend too much time studying law, everything has a legal argument. The following list is a list of first dance songs by the one and only Darcy Miller. For those that do not know she is the wedding expert for Martha Stewart and she is great. My FH told me he wanted to surprise me and I started getting nervous. What if he chooses a song I hate? What if we can not dance to it? What if I do not know it and I spend too much time listening to the song I trip over my gown? So after stressing, I begged him one night to tell me what it was. Instead he launched up Rhapsody and played it for me - Even better! Except when I realized the song and listened to all the words I started crying. What an idiot I was! Just because my FH listens to the Pixies and I do not even know who they are, does not mean he has bad taste. It simply means he has different tastes, but his choice on song was perfect. So if your FH says he wants to surprise you - trust him. Most likely he will not make you do the Humpty Dance http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RgohnTU9X0A at your wedding for the First Dance. I will not say which is my song but I will be happy to say it is not on the list. I love being indie.

Just the Two of Us - by Bill Withers
The Look of Love - by Sergio Mendes
Nothing Even Matters - by Lauren Hill
Can't Take My Eyes Off of You - by Frankie Vallie
At Last - by Etta James
The Chapel of Love - by Dixie Cups
Someday My Prince Will Come (a waltz)
The Way You Look Tonight - by Jamie Bass
Because You Loved Me - by Celine Dion
Body and Soul - by Anita Baker
Cheek to Cheek - Fred Astaire
Evergreen - by Barbara Streisand
Embraceable You - by Ella Fitzgerald
I Can't Help Falling in Love - by Elvis Presley
When I Fall in Love - by Nat King Cole
Isn't It Romantic - by Michael Feinstein
It Had to Be You - by Harry Connick, Jr.
Long Ago and Far Away - by Chet Baker
L-O-V-E - by John Pizzarelli
Love is Here to Stay - by Ella Fitzgerald
Night and Day - by Frank Sinatra
One Hand, One Heart - From West Side Story
Sea of Love - by the Honeydrippers
The Best is Yet to Come - Frank Sinatra
The Way You Look tonight - by Fred Astaire
Through the Eyes of Love - by Melissa Manchester
True Companion - by Marc Cohn
Unchained Melody - by Righteous Brothers
You Are So Beautiful - by Joe Cocker

Venues

Well looking for venues in NYC is overwhelming. Especially when I wanted to have my wedding at the Waldorf Astoria. That was until I found out they were asking about $300+ per person. Do not ask why I still pulled out the calculator to see if I could afford it with my 50 person wedding. Nevertheless, NY is full of many other option. My 2nd choice was the Metrazur in Grand Central - the epitamy of New York. The price was good $140.00 a person (keep in mind prices may have changed for 2008). The woman was super nice, but my FH said no because of acoustical problems. He feared no one would be able to hear the music with all the bustle and traffic of people walking around in Grand Central. So there went my dream of Grand central - I had the invites picked out and all with a design of the clock "sigh". So here is a small list of some other places for those NY brides that may not have picked a place: (alphabetical order) Prices are based on quotes received in the last 6 months.

• 24 Fifth - $185
• Alger House - Base $105 (goes up from there)
• Amalia-Restaurant
• Bayards - Wall Street $165.00 (the place I ended up choosing!! Yeah)
• Braiserre 81/2 (never called me back)
• Bridgewaters-restaurants $185 (I think same owners as 24 Fifth
• Bryant Park Hotel - Love this place but they have a minimum person
• Campbell Apartment - Great Bar especially for smaller weddings
• Carlyle Hotel $185
• Daniel $150 (Dinner only - no open bar) My absolute favorite restaurant restaurant in New York
• Essex House..Who am I kidding with Alain Ducasse I can not even play in this ball park
• Hotel Giraffe - $100 Small venue, but great for cocktail party - rooftop and piano suite
• Kitano - Has packages for $205 all included
• Metrazur-Grand Central -$140.00
• Micheangelo Hotel - $175
• Morans Chelsea-Restaurant - $125
• New York Marriott Financial $155
• Omni Berkshire NYC - $150 packages (all included)
  Parkier Meridian-Speak to Alex $220
• Peninsula Hotel - I can dream right
• Prestige Yacht - $140 (do not forget dock fees)
• Ritz Carlton - $220 this is the one at Battery Park. So since I could not afford the wedding reception there, I decided to splurge on spending my wedding night there.
• Riverside Church - Great Price but you have to be okay with having your wedding in a church. Prices start at about $90 but go up and Bar is limited
• Sofital -$202 "sigh"
• Soho Grand - $150.00 Great Bar
• St Barts café - They closed :(( New Space which I have not seen Inside Park http://www.insideparknyc.com/
• Tavern on the Green - $125.00 Park Room/Garden. Classic New York but decor is dated and food is mediocre. The larger the room the prices go up per person.
• W hotel Lexington $175
• Water Club (my 3rd choice) Wow what views $195 (all included)
• Westin Hotel $170

Hello World

Well I decided to start a new blog to avoid flooding my other blog http://www.cesttout.blgospot.com/ (That's life in French) with all wedding stuff. I know there are friends that refuse to listen to anymore discussions on invitations. So here it is NY bride on a budget. I am a 3rd year law student who works full time and is also trying to plan a wedding in the same year that I am graduating. My goal was to do the wedding before December when I start studying for the bar, and that I did. The wedding is planned for July and we are also having a 2nd one in August in South America for my father's family. Because I have too many uncles and aunts and cousins to have fly down. With that said, when I got engaged I immediately thought I wanted the wedding in Manhattan. I was baptized at St. Patricks Cathedral so I am a New Yorker through and through. But when I saw some of the prices I was shocked! But since my wedding guest list was so small I figured I could play around with some ideas. Which will bring me to venues on the next post. Where and what you can get in NYC and at what cost?